How can verbal and nonverbal communication affect relationships in the workplace

Most of us remember cringing as children when our mothers gave us that look -- the look that meant we were in deep trouble. She didn't have to say a word. And even if she did say a word -- even if it was kind -- you could probably still tell you were in trouble because the brain processes both verbal and nonverbal communication at the same time and notices when someone's words don't match their body language. A wealth of emotions can be conveyed with a look, a sigh, a smile or a tilt of the head. Nonverbal communication is not just something we do to show how we are feeling, but we also depend on our interpretations of it when we interact with each other.

Creates Conflict

Nonverbal communication includes body language, tone of voice and facial expressions, all of which can be misinterpreted. When nonverbal cues are misinterpreted, it can create conflict in a relationship. For example, if you share a deep secret with your best friend, and she frowns at you, you might interpret that as disapproval -- even though she may have been frowning in concentration. If you cross your arms while talking to your boss, you might just be cold -- but your boss might see that as a sign that you disagree with him. If you speak to your lover in a sarcastic tone, he might become defensive -- even if the actual words spoken were not accusatory.

Causes Discomfort

Nonverbal communication can also cause you to feel uncomfortable around another person, even if the communication is not misinterpreted. For example, if your friend stands very close to you to hear you talk, you might feel as if he is invading your personal space. If your partner's tone of voice seems sarcastic, but his words aren't, you still might feel like he is making fun of you. The important thing to remember is that most of the time, it isn't intentional. Much of our nonverbal communication is unconscious. In some cases, we don't meant to do it, but we can't really communicate effectively without it.

Increases Closeness

Nonverbal communication can be incredibly reassuring. A warm smile thrown your way when you are trying to apologize for something, a light touch on your arm when you are sharing something difficult, a soft tone of voice or even a step toward you are all ways that nonverbal communication can increase closeness between two people in a relationship. This type of nonverbal communication complements the message the speaker is trying to convey.

Enhances Understanding

When nonverbal communication is used to accent a message, it can enhance understanding. If you are in a negotiation with a coworker, and you see him nodding, this is a clue that you are probably on the right track. If your boss is telling you about something he feels strongly about, and he pounds the desk for emphasis, this is an indication that you should take what he's talking about seriously. If your significant other tells you he is fine with you going away for the weekend, but his voice is shaky and he is frowning, you might want to probe a bit further because these things tell you that there is something else going on with his feelings about your trip. In most cases, nonverbal communication is not something that is easy to fake, according to HelpGuide.org, so it's important to pay attention to what the body, tone of voice and facial expressions are telling you.

To find career success, you need to understand how verbal and non-verbal communication work together in the employment environment.

While your verbal communication skills may help you ace the interview and land the job, non-verbal communication is equally important when it comes to job performance, promotion, and your enjoyment from your career.

Here's everything you need to know about verbal vs. non-verbal communication when it comes to work.

What is verbal communication?

Verbal communication is fairly straightforward – speech – but what does it mean in the workplace?

When employers talk about verbal communication, they generally mean:

• Speaking clearly and articulately
• Asking questions
• Asking for help
• Conveying information to managers and supervisors in an appropriate and timely manner
• Listening actively, without interrupting
• Receiving and integrating feedback without growing defensive
• Training others
• Providing customer service
• Analyzing non-verbal cues from others and responding verbally

It's fairly easy to understand how verbal skills play out in the workplace, as you can think back on things you've said or heard at work. It's tricker to get a handle for non-verbal communication within the workplace.

What is non-verbal communication?

Non-verbal communication consists of everything that's unsaid, including:

• Body language and posture
• Facial expressions
• Clothing and hairstyle
• Voice
• Eye contact
• Distance between yourself and others

If you've ever felt too close to someone when networking at a cocktail party, or wondered why someone you just met is staring at your body rather than your face, then you know how uncomfortable it can be to interact with someone who has poor non-verbal communication. You were probably also taught to look people in the eye when speaking and to give others at least two feet of personal space unless you have a close relationship.

Non-verbal communication skills vary by culture. While eye contact when talking is normative in European cultures, Asian and Latin cultures view extended eye contact as a challenge to authority. If you're in a management role, understanding these cultural differences will help you be an effective manager to all your employees.

How non-verbal communication affects performance?

Now that you understand what workplace verbal and non-verbal communication skills are, how do non-verbal skills affect workplace harmony?

Put simply, non-verbal skills affect the way that your verbal message comes off and the way that others hear your words. To illustrate with an example, if you are training a new hire with your arms crossed at the chest or with a stern glare in your eyes, the new person may get the impression that you are frustrated or angry with them. This can negatively impact your relationship with the new hire. Lightening up the mood with open body language or a pleasant smile can smooth things over.

Conversely, if the new hire has their arms crossed and appears on guard while receiving instructions on how to complete a task, they clearly are not listening well. They seem defensive about something. By picking up on their non-verbal communication and asking open-ended questions to gain a better understanding of what's going on, you can defuse the situation and get on with training.

To give another example, perhaps you've heard the often-paraphrased Maya Angelou quote that people will forget what you said, but they will always remember the way you made them feel?

That's an example of the power of non-verbal communication...for good and for bad. If you slighted someone with an eye roll or sarcastic tone, they'll remember it–and it can negatively impact your working relationship. Conversely, if you went out of your way to comfort someone with a sympathetic smile or if you took the initiative to dress up for an important business meeting, others will remember your caring and professionalism.

To grow your non-verbal communication skills, investigate how you come off to others by asking close friends or family members. You may be surprised to find out that your clothing or facial expressions convey something unintended. The best job candidates have an open mindset and are always interested in learning new things that can positively affect their performance, whether they love their current role or want something different. Once you receive honest feedback from those who love you, think on how you can adjust your behavior so you come off the way you want to come off in your professional and personal life.

At EHL Swiss School of Tourism and Hospitality, we take soft skills seriously by providing students with personal and professional development resources tailored to the hospitality industry. 

How can verbal and nonverbal communication affect relationships?

What is the importance of nonverbal communication and how it affects the relationship in a workplace?

How can verbal communication affect relationships?

How can nonverbal communication affect workplace environment and relationships in a positive way?